My father sent me this this morning and they are just too good not to share! Enjoy!

They’re Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
(Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan: Last Sunday: ”I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours
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Linda of Forcedgreen sent me the following (which is just too good not to share, I received two in the last week alone – oh I did change a word here and there to keep it “family friendly”):

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I’m Still Waiting…
I did what you told me…

I sent the email to 10 people like you said …
I’m still waiting for that miracle to happen.

To all my friends who in the last year sent me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something, NONE OF THAT ___ WORKED!

For 2009, could you please just send money, Vodka, chocolate, movie tickets or gasoline vouchers and airline tickets instead?

Thank you!

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And thank you Linda for your unique timing! You know just when I really need a good laugh!

After making our post for January 3, it was off to my favorite forums. That’s where I found six tools mentioned by Owen that he loved using in 2008.

The one that caught my eye is Zemanta, an add-on to your Firefox browser that automatically recognizes your wordpress and/or blogger blogs. It’s a tool that’s going to help suggest photos, videos, articles, etc., related to what you’re writing about – all done from inside your admin area.

Here’s an example:

Related articles by Zemanta

• Twitter Is Stealing Your Password

What the example above shows is something Zemanta considered “related to” the rest of the information in this post (see below about Twitter).  There are many items to choose from, but I just picked this one – all from inside the admin area of this blog.

After installing (and it’s quick and painless and yes I did read the terms of service first), you’ll end up on the welcome page where you’ll get instructions on “how to get started right away” using this super cool tool!

A big thanks to Owen for sharing this and five other tools (one of which he created himself).

Excellent!

And, for those of you wondering why your WordPress Twitter Updater plugin no longer works, well we don’t currently have the answer to that… However, TwitterBar 1.1 may be your easiest solution.

It’s been available since November 1, 2008, tried and tested. Just be sure you know what you’ve got typed in your address bar before you Twitter it. It can be words, the link of the page you’re on, whatever. So double check first

(The Firefox logo was also pulled in using Zemanta.)

A second alternative to get your feeds posted directly to your Twitter account (though the toolbar above is very cool), is TwitterFeed

TwitterFeed requires you to create an OpenSource id. Just be prepared to validate your signup via email AND be adept at picture recognition – the  process is a tad long while you “guess the picture” during the account creation process.

What TwitterFeed will do is, depending on your setting choices, take a peek at your blog feed and post the last “x” amount you designate at the time interval you ask it to check. While that may sound confusing, it’s not – it’s just a fill in the blanks AFTER you get past the picture recognition thing (it’s very hard to explain but worth the trouble).

So there you have it… multiple ways to get your current posts automatically onto Twitter, plus add some graphic interest to your posts painlessly.  Enjoy!

Now it’s your turn to tell us what you think about this post. So please DO comment!

In our search for a video sharing website similar to YouTube, but without your competitors videos showing up at the end when your video is done running, our hunt was on.

A second requirement was the video sharing site had to accept videos longer than 90 seconds – even with a Pro account at Flickr, it is not possible.

The hunt continued.

While we checked many, finding the file size is easy – finding the length in terms of time your video takes to run isn’t always straightforward. Other than YouTube, most killed the upload at a minute and a half.

However…

Mission accomplished! We decided on Viddler.com – which has all the features we were looking for… and it’s free! Here’s an example – Street Sampling. When you get to the site, below Scott’s bio, you’ll see the ones we’ve loaded so far (there will be more).

Our thanks go out to the How To Split An Atom blog for providing 11 Video Sharing Sites That Aren’t YouTube.

In addition, I’d like to mention to all our Whole Hog Bloggers that we will be upgrading everyone to WP 2.7. We’ve tested it out and read all about it. The reviews are excellent and the transition was seamless… you’re going to love the new dashboard!

And since tomorrow is Christmas, and we do celebrate, I’m not sure if we’ll post on Christmas or not.

So a Very Merry Christmas and Holiday Season to everyone, and may your New Year be your biggest and brightest yet!

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