Posts Tagged ‘laughs’

Grab A Laugh Just For Fun Sunday

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

My father sent me this this morning and they are just too good not to share! Enjoy!

They’re Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
(Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan: Last Sunday: ”I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours
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Sunday Shake Em Up Day at OIMS

Sunday, January 25th, 2009

After reading our friend and fellow Whole-Hog-Blogger, Judy at More Than Sew So and her current (at this time) post Who Is This Man, today I figured presenting some educational and highly enlightening new sources might be a better way to serve our Sunday readers (and beyond).

So I’ve compiled a short list of highly rated, highly regarded blogs whose sole purpose is to present news – current event style – on what’s really going on in Washington, as well as great pieces about the entertainment industry, sports, etc.

Here is the list:

The Daily Beast
Ana Marie Cox, writer and featured speaker on MSNBC news
The Huffington Post

Granted one must have an OPEN mind to read the above. I’ve heard them take all sides on all issues versus some out there that are strictly “old guard” trying valiantly to uphold that which clearly a majority of our nation turned down – emphatically – in November and celebrated – joyously – just a few days ago in Washington, D.C.

No one knows the future, but heading into the future without a plan, and flying on the old “wing and a prayer (and screw your fellow citizens) plan” obviously did not work. Wanting to stick to the same – for reasons unknown, but perhaps it is the “unknown” that scares some people – has moved our great country more than giant steps backward not forward.

MSNBC NJ HQ
Image via Wikipedia

My mind reels actually to hear most of what comes out of these news sources not because it’s BS, but what our government believes it can get away with (and until recently has) – and as We The People, we have let them.

I should at this point mention my two favorite news shows (television) which are programs over at MSNBC:

Countdown With Keith Olbermann and
The Rachel Maddow Show

Fox News stand in Hennepin County, Minnesota
Image via Wikipedia

But before I close, in the interest of maintaining a fuller spectrum of where to get your news, if you’re dead set on getting just the rhetoric of the die-hard GOP base, and feel it necessary to cling tenuously to the past, here are a few news sources online just for you:

Thinkgprogress.org (a misnomer, not much on “progress” but worth a laugh), along with FoxNews (which originally aired The Simpsons – a creative and very much “progressive” cartoon show for its time – but showed its true colors very early on – lopsided and biased and staunchly right winged – way right)

Enjoy your Sunday, and remember….

Give us your opinions – it is a free country let alone a “free” internet – your comments most welcome! Please comment!

How To Make Your Ads Sell Like Crazy Free Instructions

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

I’ve known Denise Hall for years. To this day, she works with me over at My Wizard Ads.

Denise’s story is like many online. She started with nothing, built slowly, found her true calling, and is off and running. To this day, she works her buns off.

That’s also why today, while reading her current issue of Home Business On A Budget, the following struck me as something we all need to keep in mind. (more…)

Getting More Miles To the Gallon?

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Received this humorous email from my sister this morning. And, although, we posted some REAL information for you already today (see our earlier post [below]), I just couldn’t resist.

We all need a few laughs right about now:
(more…)

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