Setting Boundaries With The Needier People In Your Life


Today’s post comes from a culmination of a week’s worth of events. In fact, I’m shocked to see that my last post was this past Sunday; this isn’t like me at all!

So what’s been going on to keep me from my passion of posting? Could it be the needs of those in my household? An abundance of work online? Or both?

I have noticed there are many subtle ways your family members can keep you from your tasks at hand. Do they need more attention that “normal” people? Do they have a subconscience desire to sabotage your efforts? Are they just oblivious to the fact that you are working – yes working – just because you sit at your computer inside your house? In other words, do they respect what you are doing?

Establishing any type of business takes time. Gently remind these usurpers of your attention that you are indeed working, and that you have a right to a given amount of alone time to get your tasks done. Be firm. Demand their respect.

One woman I know who personally helped me through a tough time puts it this way: “Set boundaries with that person.” In other words, you verbally use the words “I’m setting a boundary with you. When I am working, you will respect that and not interrupt.”

The beauty is that’s all you need to say. You don’t need to make an “or else” finishing statement. The boundary is the statement. The task then becomes your ability to enforce your own boundary. If you set reasonable boundaries, it may take time, but by standing firm, you will gain that needed space to attend to business.

Outside the personal, you may also find yourself tending to more needier people online. Some are brand new and it takes patience, along with a true desire to help them on their own road to success, to communicate. Harking back to the above though, the setting boundaries rule, you may at some point find yourself saying to the very people you are trying to help, “Okay, I’m setting a boundary. Until you apply what I’ve been telling you, I will have to move on to help the next person. After you’ve done [whatever it may be], feel free to contact me again.”

Unwittingly – or consciously – there are some individuals who will never do anything. Help them to realize this about themselves. Help them make the decision to either act or move on. Think like your mother (hopefully she is or was a strong person in your life with lots of common sense advice).

Don’t get me wrong, I spend hours and hours weekly on the phone and writing informative emails to many. It is a joy in my life, but it is also my job. A vast majority respect that, appreciate it, say thank you, and make me feel like a winner. A very small percentage are time wasters. A percentage within this percentage may have no clue they are time wasters. The other portion are, know it, and still do nothing about it. It’s your job to enlighten them.

Don’t look at it as being a horrible person. You deserve your family’s respect, and the respect of those you help in your business (assuming you really do make a positive difference, as I’m sure you do). Helping others to have a greater sense of “other people’s needs” is a wonderful attitude you can help them attain.

Needy people (from my experience) are not happy people. However, when a person can look beyond themselves, help others, and think outside their “human box” marvelous transformations can happen!

Challenge yourself to stick up for yourself. You’ll be happier and so will they!

Question: Agree? Disagree? We’d love your input! Please leave your comments and suggestions!


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5 Responses to “Setting Boundaries With The Needier People In Your Life”

  1. Janet Says:

    Wow– I feel like you’ve read my emails this week! Or were inside of my head! Because of those who have put “demands on my time” recently, I was up working from 2:00am til 4:00am a couple of days this week. Not a good habit to get into. Thanks for your suggestions, I’ll be working on them.
    Janet

  2. Diane Says:

    LOL Janet! Isn’t that weird how things usually work out – sort of like learning a new word and then everywhere you look there it is :)

    Thanks for your feedback, it is very appreciated!

  3. Linda Says:

    I learned that if people know that you are working at home, it is a free ticket to call, come over or just plain barge in during your work day…. You covered the BEST way to stop it! Sometimes it works and other times you may have to be just plain rude! Great post!

  4. Niche Content Says:

    Totally agree about making the person realize this about themselves. Needy people are energy vampires, but they are still people. We’re all at different stages of growth. Nice article!

  5. Diane Says:

    @Linda thanks! hope these tips work for you (I’ll tell you the story behind it all someday LOL!)

    @Niche thank you – energy vampires yes! I’ve used that phrase myself on many occasions!

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